I have an addiction. I’m not kidding! It is a real addiction! Diet Coke! I have tried and tried and tried and tried to quit. I can’t. I feel so weak! Oh yes, I’ve read all the warnings that have circulated through email and Facebook. Yes, they concern me. Yes, they inspire me. And I actually quit drinking Diet Coke – for about an hour! I AM so weak!
It is because of my addiction that I met Becky (not her real name). I met her at my dealer’s…is that what they are called? She worked for the dealer. Yep, I went there, got my Diet Coke, gave her the money and though she surely got a small cut, the dealer got the real profits! Ok, so she worked for one of those “convenient” stores! And it was indeed convenient. It was on the way home and on the way to somewhere away from home. VERY convenient!!! I stopped in to get my fix at least once a day. Sometimes 3 times a day. Don’t judge me! I bet you spend more $ in one stop at Starbucks! Yep, we all have our addictions, don’t we.
Let’s get back to Becky. She is the beauty of this story. Becky was often working when I would stop in, and if there was no one in line, I would visit with her, chat with her. She was a young girl and friendly enough, but slightly distant. You could tell she had been hurt. Her confidence was a little shaken. But she was always friendly. After a while, she began to open up a little and even sort of brighten up when I walked in.
Of course, she was working, so we never engaged in any in-depth conversation, but I always tried to be somewhat encouraging and let her know I saw her, and I cared. Some conversations were silly and fun ( I like to laugh), others, a little more serious. During one visit I felt I should invite her to church. Her smile slightly faded and she hung her head a little and said, “I don’t know if I’m good enough to be in a church.”
My heart broke and I hurt so bad for her and for whatever it was that would cause her to feel this way. Had we as Christians set ourselves so high above everyone else, ignoring our own faults and making others feel judged for theirs? Had I done this? Fighting back tears, I told her everyone was welcome in church. Jesus came to seek and to save that which was lost. Jesus loves us just the way we are (didn’t feel it was time yet to approach the fact that He had no intentions of leaving us that way)
Still not looking at me, she replied, “Yes, but I do drugs.” It was almost as if she was afraid she had disappointed me. REALLY?! She obviously did not know Miss Dawn very well!! 
I touched her hand so she would look at me, and I told her, “So do I!”
She looked at me in shock and disbelief and said, “You do?!! But you are such a lady! Such a nice lady! “
WOW!!! What a compliment! But this was no time to work on my ego’s tan. No time to bask in the glow of such nice words! I just trudged on…”Yes! And I spend more money than I ever should on my addiction. I’ve tried numerous times to quit, but it is so hard. I am going to succeed one day, but for now, my drug seems to have a strong hold on me.”
Becky looked at me intently and just questioned, “You?!”
I said, “Becky, the only difference between me and you is that my drug is legal, but in God’s eyes, it is still an addiction! I certainly don’t buy it for the diet effect. If I did, then I wouldn’t’ be buying this moon pie. Trust me, I don’t buy this drink because I’m thirsty. I buy it because I’m addicted to it. Addictions are hard, but God understands that and loves us right in the midst of our addiction. And He loves us enough to want us to be delivered, but He will not force Himself on us. We all have issues. We all have filth. But God still loves us and wants the opportunity to clean us up. I’ve never known anyone who got cleaned up to take a bath. They just got in that tub dirty! Becky, you are beautiful and worthy and valuable and God loves you. When you are ready, you let me know and I will very proudly take you to church with me as my friend.”
Well, now she was fighting back tears and she had a shift to finish, so I figured I should go. Later that day I stopped in for another fix and got a little girly silly, showing off my “new” nails. Told her I just felt like I needed to do something nice for myself.. When I left she said, “I never had a Christian lady talk to me like that and admit being flawed. That was nice.”
The next day I stopped in late in the afternoon and a very happy Becky came bouncing out from behind the counter all dressed up and bubbly. She said, “Look! ” and she did a little spin (sort of like a little girl would do for her dad.) “Look what I did. I bought me a new outfit. I feel so pretty. It’s been so long since I’ve done something nice for me, and it felt so good. Thank you. It’s all because of you.”
I hugged her and told her how beautiful she looked.
As I drove home I cried. Somehow, God had used me, as broken as I was, to help a broken young girl feel beautiful. I felt so completely humbled! I was so happy for her.
I left town for a brief vacation, and when I returned Becky was gone. I never saw her again. I have no clue what happened to her. But I pray for her from time to time. And I will never forget the day God allowed me to see and be a part of a beautiful young girl too broken to look me in the eye, beaming with beauty!!!
He came to preach good news to the meek, to bind up the brokenhearted, to set the captives free,3To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. Isaiah 61:1-3 :)) :))
No comments:
Post a Comment